the space between

there were boulders
in my chest
that got crushed down to rocks
rocks that were stamped upon
softened on the edges
turned to pebbles
that formed into art
around the pots of flowers
they had once let die

you saw me
in that breath
the space between us
fell silent
pebbles turned
to gravel
and I looked back

the brownness of your skin
complimented mine
in a room brimming
of our ex-colonizers
and from the
solitude
you carried in that bag
on your side
fell out the boulders

I smiled inside
after long
wholly
happily
meaningfully
for the flowers
weren’t watered yet
but the
gravel was ready
for
a journey it had
lost in the hands of
the dead gardener

we dispersed

stamping upon my manure
were all the pale skinned
visitors
wanting a scented flower
a wild cactus a blade of grass
but all I had was
a piece of land
and a dead man with tools

we never met
again

until last evening
when
I found you
waiting for me
in the same room
on the same chair
and
you saw me
in that breath
the space between us
fell silent

I could see blue
green
yellow
the weigh of the world
turning around
embarrassed
pink
peach
red
plum
my chest almost tore
itself out
spilling
seeds it had once
buried

and for the first
time since
your death,
we talked:
I never boarded the bus
you waited
You smoked
I waited
I joined the queue
you waited
You sat down
I sat opposite you

spilling gravel along
the way
for you to find me
back
another day

we talked in
words that
they couldn’t hear
breaths that were
taken from a distance
too close for strangers
we talked in utter coldness
out in a garden only
you and I could feel
we talked in stares
eye contacts
we talked

and the space between
us
was no more a space
it turned to despair
anxiety
joy
deep purple
hot pink
boiling black

you left
I continued

hoping
the gravel would
lead you to me
once more
when I need
you the most

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